Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Randomize
