The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
