Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
