girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
