the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
