I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
