Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will be naked everywhere
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize