College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
