I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
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My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
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I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
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