There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
