why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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