You smell like stripper and shame
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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