look no pants
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
