so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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