So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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