I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
