I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
