look no pants
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
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