I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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