I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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