he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!