please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
