i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.