Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
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