Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
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I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
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Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.