What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
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Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
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No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock