He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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