all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
