we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
My bed smells like the plague
Randomize
