I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Randomize
