Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
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