Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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