No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
