dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
