i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
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