I'm really into asian looking animals
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
