is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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