yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
