Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
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