the new term for farting is butt boxing.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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