i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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