It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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