After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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