but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
