it's too hot outside to masturbate.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
