He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
