I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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