Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
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