WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
