Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
