Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
