I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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