Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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