I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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