and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize