3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
