You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
