If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
