grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
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so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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