Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Randomize
