if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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