So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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