Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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