The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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