So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
