none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
